It's not you, it's me. Really.
When I took on this role, I had a lot of expectations of myself. As your classic over achiever, I really thought that I'd be able to manage a newborn, a four year old, a marriage, a full time job, friends, coaching, and life. Sounds a little ridiculous when I put it that way. I believed I could do it, but what I have realized is that accomplishing the goals I set out in this role would certainly come at a cost in other areas, some of which I'm not willing to sacrifice at this time.
As an introspective and reflective person, it's important for me to evaluate what has become an experiment of sorts, albeit a very public one. Here's what I've learned on this journey:
1. The coaching opportunity gave me something positive and connected during a time of transition in my life, especially during maternity leave. In my past experience with maternity leave I felt very isolated. The repetitive and less than glamorous tasks of taking care of a newborn don't leave a lot of opportunity to connect with the outside world. Coaching allowed me to do that, even if it was mostly through Facebook or Zoom calls. It also helped me to regain that feeling of "feeling like myself" that all postpartum moms want so much to have.
2. I am a terrible sales person. Yep, I said it. It pains me to admit that I'm really not good at something, but it's true. And yes, as a coach it's about sharing not about selling. But at the end of the day, it is a business and if you cannot be successful in the sales aspect of the business there won't be anyone to coach in the first place.
3. I love what I do in my day job. Taking on this opportunity was not about finding a way out of my full time job like it is for many people. But this opportunity reminded me that I am most fulfilled when I am providing help for people who are under-served and truly have no other option for the services that I and my agency provide. It's a tough, but rewarding job. It has reminded me where my passion lives, which is in treating clients with chronic mental illness and substance use disorders. I'm passionate about incorporating fitness into that treatment, too.
4. You don't know what you don't know. Boy, this has been true so many times in my life. I'm a researcher and planner by nature. Even in doing that you sometimes cannot fully understand what something entails until you do it. For me, the amount of time required to truly be successful was that which I was not willing to give. Yes, you read that correct. I refuse to say "I don't have time" because I know if it was important I would make time. I am choosing to make time for other things instead.
6. This may be a "goodbye for now" not forever. I do think that in a different season of life, I might be willing to throw more time and energy into an endeavor like this. You never know what the future might hold.
7. My favorite aspect of the coaching role is that it gave me opportunities to reconnect with old friends, both as a participant and as a coach. Some of those people are now the ones who inspire me to do better each day. I'm incredibly grateful for the coaching community and hope to stay connected to many of the women that I've become closer to throughout this journey.
8. I love that one of the three Vital Behaviors of the coaching role is personal development. I'm a little bit of a nerd and have always loved self-improvement books, articles, etc. Beachbody truly reinforces the importance of continuous self-improvement. I've begun listening to new podcasts or audio books daily rather than talk-radio during my commute. It's been a wonderful change that I'll definitely continue.
So while I have nothing but love for the opportunity I've been given, it's time to get back to my priorities. I'll see you on the flip side!
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